Showing posts with label Bad Beauty Pageant Gowns. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Bad Beauty Pageant Gowns. Show all posts

Friday, June 1, 2012

Beauty Pageant Minute: Miss USA 2012 Preliminary Competition Evening Gowns: The "Oh Huney!" List


Mermaid Madness, 1988 Dynasty Pouf's, a Stripper or a Pageant Contestant?...and a Peacock:

Miss Washington USA 2012 Christina Clarke: See below for my thoughts on her Pouf-and-Sequin Gown

Well Pageant Kids, in my last post, I wrote down all my "Nick Top Picks" from the Miss USA 2012 Preliminary Competition, which occurred two nights ago on Wednesday at the Planet Hollywood Resort and Casino, site of the Final LIVE Miss USA 2012 Telecast (which is Sunday night in case y'all forgot!). As a Pageant Fan, Fashion Designer, Red Carpet commentator and brother of a sister who has been in Pageants (The Miss Venezuela Pageant, no less!), I find it is my DUTY to speak of the FAB and also NOT SO FAB on this subject which is very near and dear to my heart. So, here are my "WHY Oh Why?", "Huney it's 2012 not 1988" and "Are You a Stripper or a Miss USA?" Picks--So, Enjoy and of course, feel free to let me know YOUR thoughts--

Is it Me or Is it 1988 All Over Again?

  Eighties Fab: "Knots Landing" Actress (and Fashion DIVA!) Donna Mills at the 1988 Golden Globe Awards (left photo) and Linda Evans, John Forsythe and Joan Collins of Dynasty (right)

These following ladies--as beautiful as they may be--fall under the category of "Oh Huney, What Were You Thinking?":

Miss Kentucky USA 2012 Amanda Mertz: This strapless very fitted sequined applique bustier gown with red taffeta fitted-to-flare "Mermaid" attached skirt was just too late 80's for me. I like the shape of the gown-skirt but it's the UBER fitted/UBER boob-a-fied sequined applique corset which instantly brings it into 1988 fashion territory. If she's trying to do a "Sofia Vergara", she might want to spend the big bucks and get the design teams of Vera Wang, Carolina Herrera or Oscar de la Renta to help her...or at least get a designer to knock off one of those FAB Red Carpet looks.

Miss Washington USA 2012 Christina Clarke: Huney...what were you thinkin'? I could show this photo to someone and ask "What year is this from?" and the answer would be "Ummm, 1988!" Hands Down.  Miss Washington USA 2012 Christina Clarke is so pretty--just look at her! I just do not know how she could not have a Fashion Gay near her in the great State of Washington to help her and guide her something more chic, streamlined and modern!

Miss Florida USA 2012 Karina Brez: Oh Karina. The gown. Is. So. 1985. I am having Flashbacks of my Prom. All I want to do is give her a Corsage. Not only is the dress a mess (really, that high side slit was necessary?), the "Jersey Shore/Real Housewives of New Jersey" hair style, plus those platform stacked heels, plus the too-tight corset top section (hello rippling!), it all adds to well, not one of my favorites. Now, speaking of shoes...

Time for Sidebar #1: Those SHOES!

These...
Are Stripper heels NOT Pageant Evening Gown heels. Ladies. Learn the Difference. Please. Why can't you wear something closer to these:

I just do not understand. I understand the shoe sponsor for Miss USA is Chinese Laundry and Lord Knows I LOVE them, but I know they have some fabulous strappy and non-stripper stacked platform/heel shoes in their style Look Book that the contestants could have chosen from.

Now onto Sidebar #2: Stripper or Miss USA Winner:


The lovely--and beautiful ladies below are NOT strippers but in fact, Miss USA 2012 contestants:


While the Miss USA 2012 Preliminary Competition had plenty of too-high leg bearing slits and cha-cha-bearing plunging necklines, these two ladies were up there in my "Oh Huney" category. Miss Georgia USA 2012 Jasmyn "Jazz" Wilkins (on the left) in the white plunging neckline...AND...ULTRA high slit...AND backless...gown---and Miss District of Columbia USA 2012 Monique Tompkins (on the right) in her gold one-shoulder very high side slit number...are on my "Stripper or Miss USA Winner?" section. And if you have to ask me why, you have a Style Problem. I guess I am an old Pageant Fuddy-Duddy but...these are NOT Miss USA-winning gowns. These are dresses that will get a Rich Russian Billionaire to come back to your Vegas Hotel room. Just saying. But maybe they will prove me wrong on Sunday night and win the entire thing and get the HIGHEST EVENING GOWN POINTS EVAH!!!! We'll see...

 But the HOOCHIE Gown Title goes to...

Miss Texas USA 2012 Brittany Booker: First off, this woman is absolutely stunning--all 5' 11" of her! She's an AMAZON! I just cannot fathom why she would wear this nude sequined overlay over a strapless micro-mini dress to compete for the Miss USA pageant. Other than to get people talking...and not in a good way. The dress makes actual strippers jealous. I really wish this beautiful woman would have called by NIKOLAKI design studio and we might have provided her with an appropriate Miss USA gown.

Finally, my Favorite: Miss Peacock...

Miss Minnesota USA 2012 Nitaya Panemalaythong: Now, that is a GOWN. For the Miss Universe National Parade of Nations. Not for the Miss USA Preliminary Competition. I give her points for going there. It's very "Flora and Fauna" and Vegas Showgirl. She's obviously having a great time wearing it. But if a celeb wore this on the red carpet--she would have been SLAMMED in a not-so-nice way.


It is one thing to love Peacocks or be inspired by their color and beauty, but to actually try to make yourself INTO an actual Peacock...for the Miss USA Pageant no less....is just WRONG, WRONG, WRONG! (but I think I'd like to hit the Planet Hollywood Resort and Casino bar with her!!!)

Sunday Night is the Miss USA 2012 LIVE Telecast and you know I will be watching and yes, the day after...reviewing my "Best" and "Hoochies" of the Evening Gown bunch...Happy Pageant Watching!!!

Saturday, May 12, 2012

Beauty Pageant Minute: Miss Belarus 2012


Belarus Queen...

All Smiles: Yulia Stankovich, the new "Miss Belarus 2012" for "Miss World 2012"

On May 4th--last week--a new Belarus Queen was crowned--Miss Belarus 2012---and the winner was brunette,  20-year old Yulia Skalkovich. Yulia is from Brest, stands 178 cm (5' 10") tall and will now be representing her country at the Miss World 2012 in Inner Mongolia China (unless naked photos of her are found, or it is discovered that she is married a la Miss Dominican Republic 2012).

Crowned: The new "Miss Belarus 2012" Yulia Stalkovich (left) being crowned

The "Miss Belarus" pageant takes place--unusually enough--every two years. I guess within those two years, they use up those girls throughout various 2012 and 2013 international beauty pageants. That's my only reasoning for this--or it's too expensive to hold the contest every year. I'm sure it's not for a lack of beautiful girls. From the pics, they seem to have plenty.

Accessorized: Yulia Stalkovich "Miss Belarus 2012", during one of the costume/fashion segments of the pageant

During the evening festivities, Yulia also won the "Miss Photo" title, recognized as the most photogenic of all the contestants. Her prize award for winning "Miss Belarus 2012" was equivalent to a little over $6,000.  It might not seem like a lot (in terms of an international pageant prize money award) but maybe in Belarus it's like winning the Belarus Lottery!

The new "Miss Belarus 2012", Yulia Stalkovich (center) and her two runner up's

28 girls from different regions of Belarus participated in the contest. First Runner-Up and "Miss Sports" was 20-year-old Victoria Shavel from Homel, and the the Second Runner-Up was 21-year-old Anastasia Pogranichnaya. In case you are geographically-challenged, Belarus is a landlocked nation in Eastern Europe and a former Soviet republic. It's neighbors are Russia, Ukraine, Poland, Latvia and Lithuania.

Now, let's discuss the FASHION: The pageant had LOTS of Fashion segments in which contestants showed their best in High-end Gowns, what looked like Prom-like Gowns, quirky casual wear, and well even-quirkier "fashion wear". Take a look at these looks form the eventual winner, Yulia wore throughout the night:

Yulia Stalkovich "Miss Belarus 2012" during the pageant in different fashions--from gowns...to funky "daywear"

The contestants also had to don a "Belarus Fantasy" ensemble at one point, which had them all in high-low over-skirts, too-short mini dresses, head jewelry, and for some reason, lots of shoulder ruffling and tulle detail that was waaayyyy to 1998 for my taste:

Belarus Exotic: Contestants during one of the costume-change portions of the "Miss Belarus 2012" pageant

Speaking of 1998...Let's go even further to 1986--The Final Evening Gowns:

It was Disney Princess Heaven: Where's Mickey Mouse and will he be wearing a Boutonniere?

Check out a couple of these strapless fitted bustier-and-full gathered skirt dresses from a couple of the contestants:

I don't even know where to begin in terms of commenting on these. I feel as if I've been put in a time traveling machine and transported back to 1986 and I am at my high school prom! I want this to STOP!!! The whole pageant-girls-wearing-1986-Prom-gowns thang. It's tired, dated and oh so not fashion-forward. If any of these women wore these to a black-tie red carpet event, there would be a big "X" on them. I'm sure these girls had no choice so I am not judging them. But please, pageant organizers and pageant stylists...get it together!!! And show something more 2012, and NOT 1986.
Other than that--Congratulations to the newly crowned "Miss Belarus 2012" (above). You're gorgeous darling. Just don't wear a 1986-type gown to the "Miss World 2012" Finals. How do you say "pretty please?" in Belarusian and Russian??

Friday, May 4, 2012

Beauty Pageant Minute: Miss Equatorial Guinea 2012

  
A New African Queen...

Gorgeous in Purple: Jennifer Riveiro Ilende, Miss Belleza Guinea Ecuatorial 2012 (Miss Equatorial Guinea)

Last week, on April 27th, the tall and very beautiful Jennifer Riveiro Ilende was crowned Miss Belleza Guinea Ecuatorial 2012 (Miss Equatorial Guinea) at the Sipopo International Conference Centre in Malabo.

Jennifer made it into the "Pageant Record Books" as she will be the first ever representative of that African nation to compete in the 62nd edition of the Miss World pageant, which will take place on August 18, 2012 in Dongsheng Fitness Center Stadium, Ordos, Inner Mongolia, China (yes, not Miami, not Sao Paulo, not London...nope...INNER MONGOLIA!!!)

Crowning Moment: Jennifer Riveiro Ilende gets her "Miss Belleza Guine Ecuatorial 2012" crown

In the event that you may be "Geographically-challenged", Equatorial Guinea is located in Middle Africa. The independent nation is made up of two parts--a section in the continent and another section made up of islands offshore, one of which contains its capital city, Malabo. It is one of the smallest countries in continental Africa and also one of the richest per capita. But of course, it is no surprise that the wealth is very unevenly distributed. It is also THE ONLY nation in Africa that has Spanish as one of its official languages (French and Portuguese are the others).

Now, onto the pageant and the winner. The pageant is organized and run by Agencia Mogue, a model agency in Equatorial Guinea, with the help of Constancia Mangue de Obiang, first lady of the nation.

La Mas Bella: The new "Miss Belleza Guinea Ecuatorial 2012" Jennifer Riveiro Ilende is 21 years old, 1.80m tall (about 5' 11" tall) and is a model. She could do well in August at the Miss World 2012 pageant. Now, onto the GOWNS:

The gowns were FABULOUS, chic and  modern. Take a look tat the three Finalists above. At least with these three: not ONE tacky, bedazzled, too-high slit mess in sight! The winner (middle), wore a purple-colored chiffon gown with gathered bust and one-shoulder satin strap detail; clean, elegant and oh-so-right. Her "Damas" (Runners-Up) look resplendent as well. The one on the left, looks THE DEFINITION of CHIC in her red gathered-halter neckline gown and the one on the left, looks VERY Spring/Summer 2013, in her lilac-and-purple watercolor flower-print gown.  How could a tiny African nation pageant get it SO right? Is it because a modeling agency is running the pageant? Is their "Official Stylist" ON IT, when it comes to what Beauty Pageant contestants should be wearing in 2012, and is referencing Fashion Magazines, the International Red Carpet, and not "Toddlers & Tiaras"? Whatever it is, they are YEARS ahead of some of these much bigger international pageants and what their pageant girls are wearing:

Miss COOCHIE SLITS:

Yes, You Might See My Underwear: "Nuestra Belleza El Salvador/ Miss El Salvador Universe 2012" Ana Yancy Clavel (left) and "Miss El Salvador World 2012" Maria Luisa Vicuna

Oooh Huney, That is a HIGH Slit: "Miss Brasil World 2012" finalist (left photo, on the right) Camilla Serakides and "Miss Slovak Republic Universe 2012" Lubica Stepanova (right photo)--These two ladies were ill-advised for sure. There are elements which are good in each of these gowns, however, the TOO HIGH slits, negates any of those good elements and deems the ladies--and their gowns--two minutes away from a stripper pole.

 Pageant Betty's:

Miss Dominican Republic Universe 2012 Pageant: Above are the Finalist in this year's pageant--and their bedazzled, be-organza'ed, be-high slit'ed gowns...If someone went back in time to well, 1992--I would NOT be surprised to see this photo--and more importantly--these same gowns!


Uh NO: Let's just hope that NO ONE follows the fashion advice of this pretty woman, Fernanda Semino, and what she wore--and head-scratchingly won in!--at last year's "Miss Uruguay Universe 2011" pageant. Sequined Applique Halter and iridescent POLY organza. Enough Said.

Saturday, December 31, 2011

Pageant Minute: Best (and Not So Best) Evening Gowns of 2011--The Beauty Pageant Edition!!!


Beauty Pageant Gowns--A 2011 Look Back at some of my Favorite, The Hoochies, and The Oh-Dear What Were You Thinking?


This past year has been a "mixed" year in terms of evening gowns in the beauty pageant world. There have been some really good ones that displayed modernity, directionality, and a nod to the red carpet and what actual stars like Angelina Jolie or Charlize Theron would wear for an event such as the Academy Awards or Cannes Film Festival. However, for some reason, there still have been plenty of tacky-licious Hoochie Mammas, with plunging tops that reveal too much of the "sisters" and slits so high that well, one would be quite confused whether or not these ladies were running for Miss Universe or attending the Exxxotica Expo LA Adult Entertainment Show and Convention! Since I love discussing beauty pageants and especially the evening gowns here, I thought it would be fun to give you guys my List of the Top--and the Not-So Top Gowns, from some of the most important international beauty pageants, like Miss Universe, Miss World, Miss Venezuela, Miss USA, etc., of 2011. So without further ado...

The Best:

Leila Lopes, Miss Universe 2011, from Angola: Simply perfect! One of my favorites of 2011. Leila wore a gold-colored strapless lace sequined gown with feathered detail. Now, I know that all of those details sound like a lot, and in the wrong hands it might have come out a MESS. But it did not. The gown was elegant and perfect for her skin color. She accessorized it with those gold stacked-heel pumps and kept it very modern with little-to-almost no jewelry. All these style ingredients helped her clinch the Miss Universe crown.

Miss Mexico 2011, Karin Ontiveros, Miss Universe 2011 Pageant: Karin did not make the Semi-Final Round during the Miss Universe Pageant this past year but she did, in my opinion, wear one of the Top Gowns of the Year. This off-the-shoulder lilac metalized satin draped gown was modern and had a nod to the Grecian-Goddess trend. It didn't overwhelm her or take away from her beauty and looked "Red Carpet Hollywood Star" appropriate.

Miss Venezuela 2011-2012 Irene Esser: This gown, by Venezuelan Beauty Pageant Designer KING Gionni Straccia, was fit for a QUEEN. A Venezuelan Queen. The gown looked like something one would see from an Armani Prive Haute Couture Collection--the silk lame, the hand-sewn Swarovski crystals and the perfect fit. I also loved it in that she won with a gown that had (GASP!) NO SLIT! A Beauty pageant Winner wearing a gown with NO SLIT?! Who would have thunk it? I would have.

Miss New York USA 2011, Amber Marie Collins, Miss USA 2011 Pageant: Another one of my Top Beauty Pageant Evening Gowns of 2011 was this gown worn by Miss New York USA at the Miss USA 2011 Pageant. She didn't make it into the Semi-Final Round but with this gown alone, she should have! The gown was designed by the same designer who created Miss Venezuela's--Gionni Straccia. I love it's simplicity, lack of too-high HOOCHIE slit, and delicate and beautiful shoulder, underbust and torso sequin trim. This is "Pageant Gown Lite" and the direction most pageant gowns should be going.

Miss Merida 2011 Yasmeira Gutierrez: Shimmering and simply stunning! This was one of my other favorite gowns from this past year's Miss Venezuela Pageant and well, one of my Top of the Year. It was a strapless silver-and-gold sequined silk organza gown from, yes, Venezuelan designer Gionni Straccia (he's on a roll here in my End-of-The-Year List). This is how I know a gown is good: I can see it on any top actress at the Oscars and see it end up in the "Best Dressed List" the day after.

Miss Hungary 2011, Linda Szunai, Miss World 2011 Pageant: I absolutely loved this simple baby blue and turquoise strapless gathered bust empire-style gown, worn by Miss Hungary 2011 at the Miss World 2011 "Top Model" Presentation. This gown shows how you can do Elegant without any be-dazzler machine. It has CLASS written all over it. It's safe, yes, but still impacting.

Miss Ghana 2011, Erica Nego at the Miss Universe 2011: Erica wore this during the Miss Universe 2011 Preliminary Evening Gown Competition and I touted it then as one of my favorite gowns of the Prelims. She didn't make the Semi-Finalist cut but to me, she still made an elegant impact with this strapless fuchsia and royal blue split-front empire style gathered bust gown. Gorgeous.

Miss USA 2011 Alyssa Campanella, Miss USA 2011 Pageant: Alyssa, who was Miss California USA, wore this emerald green gown--from Pageant-and-Prom Fave Sherri Hill--for the Miss USA 2011 Live Telecast. And she won! As everyone knows, red-heads should wear this color like, ALL THE TIME! It suited her well and the gown, was yes, five minutes away from looking a bit "Pageant Betty Perfect" but somehow it still had enough Runway Couture in its fit and structure to deem it one of my favorites of 2011.

Miss India Earth 2011, Hasleen Kaur, Miss Earth 2011 Pageant: In summing up my Top Beauty Pageant Gowns of 2011, I thought I should add a couple "Ball Gown/Princess" styles, since this almost became a trend of this past year. I really loved this pale blue-and-ivory gown worn by Miss India Earth during the Miss Earth 2011 Evening Gown Presentation. It was very Dior Haute Couture in its silhouette and Hasleen carried it well. I'm sure in the eyes of many pageant observers, it might not have been a favorite. But to me, it stood out as a vision of (semi) Haute Couture Fab-u-locity.

Miss World 2011 Ivian Sarcos of Venezuela, Miss World 2011 Pageant: Finally, I had to add the Gianni Straccia gown Venezuelan beauty Ivian Sarcos wore when she won the Miss World 2011 title. To be frank, I wasn't a total fan. But...there was something about it that well, I still liked (the top section I think), and yes, the way the almost 6-foot-tall beauty carried it off. When she walked on stage there was no denying she was "in it to win it" and she made all the judges focus on her! If a Hollywood starlet wore this at the Oscars, she would get SLAMMED the next day and be on the Worst Dressed List. But for Miss World and their vision of the "Disney Princess Beauty", it was just right.

The Oooh Girl What Were You Thinking?

And now, I present to you my "Oh Dear" List. These gowns should be banned forever from beauty pageants, red carpet events,..heck even tacky QuinceaƱera's. A Note to any women wanting to enter a major beauty pageant and thinking about what evening gown style to wear: please don't EVER wear these.

Miss Falcon 2011 Haydee Castillo, Miss Venezuela 2011 Pageant: designed by Luis Perdomo, this ivory satin gown was a mess. The too-high gathered halter-bust sections, the attached petal skirt, then a silver crystal trim waist tie? No, huney. Poor thang, she HAD to know she wasn't even going to be in the Semi-Semi-Semi Finals in this; she must have done something to make Osmel Sousa (Miss Venezuela Pageant Director) mad at her and therefore, she got this gown.

Miss Turkey Earth 2011, Merve Saribas, Miss Earth 2011 Pageant: There is something SO TACKY about this concoction above that makes me want to go have many, many Martinis with her! Seriously. It's BAD! Poor Merve--who is just stunning--she was somehow coaxed into wearing this during the Miss Earth 2011 Evening Gown Presentation. Doesn't she have any fashionista gay friends in her homeland who should have advised her against this? It's so bad that the woman (on the left side, front row) in the photo is actually LAUGHING at what a mess this dress is!

Miss Colombia 2011, Maria Catalina Robayo Vargas, Miss Universe 2011 Pageant: Oh Miss Colombia. You did it this time. You and this gown (if you would call it that) will enter you into the Drag Queen Hall of Fame. Ru Paul should be wearing this. Not Miss Colombia! It's a Halloween Orange strapless fan-pleated gown and...

A gold and bronze stretch sequined jumpsuit. At the same time! It's sooo tacky and bad, it's Drag Queen Good! I need to see this on the female partner of a Figure Skating Ice Dancing Couple from Russia. Like TOMORROW!

Miss Dominican Republic 2011, Dalia Fernandez, Miss Universe 2011 Pageant: Dalia thought she was entering the "Stripper of the Year" contest as opposed to the Miss Universe Pageant in this gown. That slit is SO high that well, I feel like she's about to see her gynecologist. Slits that high--up to the you-know-what--should be banned. Period. But then, if that wasn't enough, throw in the polyester satin fabrication and that too-plunging neckline. No Mija. No.

Miss Mongolia 2011, Buyankhishig Unurbayar, Miss World 2011 Pageant: Speaking of plunging necklines. This is what I said about this dress back in my Miss World 2011 evening gown post: I can't even focus on the rest of the dress when THOSE things are so propped up and on full display; it's like "Here they are! Y'all want them?" How do you say that in Mongolian? Oh, here's a positive: I LOVE that sequined Disco headband!! So Olivia Newton-John "Let's Get Physical"! Yeah, that pretty much sums it up.

Finally here are my Top Three Worst:

Miss Austria 2011, Julia Hofer, Miss World 2011: Julia Julia Julia...what bad curtain from your grandma back in Vienna did you use to make this gown? She's such a cute girl, why this awful 1984-looking dress? It was bad in 1984...and it's bad in 2011.

Miss Belize 2011, Kadejah Tunn, Miss World 2011 Pageant: She is a Cha-Cha Queen, a Mambo Dancer and a come-hither stripper, all in one tacky dress. The low-rent fabrication, the side cut-outs, those tiered Carmen Miranda ruffles, then the open-toe gold pumps. Oh huney, I'm sure you're a sweet, sweet woman, but you have just made my "Oh Dear! Pageant Gown List" of 2011.

Miss Belgium 2011, Justine De Jonckheere, Miss Universe 2011 Pageant: The very pretty Justine takes the prize as the WORST of Beauty Pageant Gowns of 2011 in this baby blue and ivory concoction. This is like Scheherazade got attacked by a tacky fabric store in Alabama! The slit, the one blouson sleeve, the connecting midriff trim, those tacky shoes, a CUFF (?), oh and that 1992 French Twist Up-Do? What. Were. You. Thinking? For all that, you get the "Nick V. 'Oh Dear!' Evening Gown" Crown for 2011.

What did you guys think? What were your favorite--and not-so-favorite Beauty Pageant Evening Gowns of 2011? Did I miss any? Let me know! I'd LOVE to know your thoughts!!! And...
Happy 2012!!!
I'm looking forward to more Good and BAD Pageant Gowns in 2012!